


A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

by KonataDMC



Series: GO GO LETS GO LETS GO DATEKO [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Disturbing Themes, Heavy Angst, Heavy Themes, Implied Suicide Attempts, M/M, No Dialogue, implied cutting, implied self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 09:22:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16595162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KonataDMC/pseuds/KonataDMC
Summary: But scars are worth a million





	A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

**Author's Note:**

> Please keep note of the tags^^^
> 
> This is a new style for me, I think it turned out quite well, let me know what you think!

Yamaguchi liked his scars. They're the only redeeming quality about his dirty skin. Tsukishima didn't like Yamaguchi's scars. He adored Yamaguchi's skin with love evenly split between every single freckle.

Yamaguchi calls himself an idiot nearly all the time, but he's not an idiot when it comes to unhealthy coping mechanisms. He's actually rather intelligent when it comes to those.

He knows that instead of using a razor, or a blade to make his scars, he takes one of his mother's sewing needles. Small, thin, but if done right, it will still clot and scar.

If Yamaguchi can't access a needle, he'll use his nails. The scars made by the needles are all messy anyway, he also knew that making them neat and tidy only gave away to what they were, so he makes them as messy as possible.

It helps when he catches a healing scab too, it catches on his nails, tearing it off, causing it to bleed. When ever that happens, he wants to let it scab and do the same thing over and over again, Tsukishima won't let him though. He'll notice Yamaguchi scratching his arm excessively and take Yamaguchi to go get his arm bandaged up. He ensures that you can't see the bandage from under his gym shirt. The others don't know after all.

Yamaguchi sometimes imagines what it would be like, and imagines their reactions on him confessing his scars in the most random of moments. Like one time, he'd be buying steamed buns from Ukai's corner shop with the other first years and maybe Daichi and Suga if they don't have college studying to work on. And he'd just imagine what it'd be like if he just came out then and there, no warning. Just a few simple words. _'Hey, I want to kill myself, by the way.'_ Yeah, subtle.

It took, maybe five years for Yamaguchi to tell Tsukishima he was suicidal, since being diagnosed. He begged his parents not to tell the Tsukishima family. He may have wished death upon himself but the strain he called life he wanted to keep the same. He didn't want to burden Tsukki more than he already had.

He'd even be extensively told that _he's not a burden_ but it just doesn't stick. Yamaguchi believes it never will. Tsukki brings the others into their arguments. Yamaguchi knows the arguments are all his fault anyway. They all take place either; in the bathroom, pills in hand; in the bathroom with the water running; or in Yamaguchi's bedroom with a rope hanging from the ceiling.

Tsukki mentions how difficult it would be telling the team that Yamaguchi wouldn't be coming in to school any time soon, or ever. Tsukki even brings in the idiot duo. He mentions how shorty would lose the spring in his step; how the King would stop insulting people.

He mentions how Asahi would leave the club again, and Noya along with him; how Daichi would be less strict with the team, Suga being even more motherly than he already is. Yachi would fall back into the anxious spiral she had just managed to pull herself out of thanks to Yamaguchi.

He tells him how Tanaka would become more mature, no more taking off his shirt spinning it around in the air, he'd even grow his hair back out.

Tsukki tells him how the other teams would be affected too. He tells Yamaguchi how Kuroo would stop being playful, in turn affecting Kenma and Bokuto. Kenma would turn into a complete shut-in without Kuroo there to coax him out, and Bokuto would constantly use his 'depressed' persona and probably wouldn't break out of it unless something _extreme_ happens.

Tsukki tells Yamaguchi how the team would fall apart, worse than square one, if Yamaguchi had gone. He tells Yamaguchi that if he left the world, then Tsukki would follow. The final sentence is clearly what does it for Yamaguchi, what calms him down. Kei knows it what he should start with, but it won't go into Yamaguchi's head any other way.

He tells him all these extreme scenarios to get it into his head that he is needed, and he is loved. Yamaguchi constantly whines how it's all just to make him feel better, and he can see the truth in the cracks of their lies and false comfort. Tsukki tells him these things anyway, it works, so he's going to keep using it until it doesn't.

Yamaguchi tenses up, his grasp around what ever he had his hands on that day loosening. Kei slowly walks up to him, takes said thing out of his hands, (or his head from around the noose), and brings him to the bed. Kei lies down first, Yamaguchi on top, clutching onto Kei with all the strength he had left, tears rolling down his cheeks and into the fabric of Kei's shirt.

Yamaguchi apologises, clutching the shirt tighter. Kei runs his fingers through Yamaguchi's hair, calming the boy. Now asleep, Yamaguchi looks innocent, like the day him and Kei first met. Kei saw Yamaguchi and he knew that he wanted to talk to him, but had no idea how.

He felt like that fateful day was a blessing, not so much the bullying part, more so the first meeting. Kei had finally found a reason to talk to the boy he had been, not stalking, but admiring for the past week or two.

Tadashi wakes up, they both know the previous day happened, but they refuse to speak of it. It's happened, and it's sorted, they leave it at that, well, at least until it happens again.


End file.
